Writer, 62, reveals unbearable grief of losing only child to anaphylactic shock aged 25

A writer who lost her only child to anaphylactic shock has laid bare the heartbreaking reality of her struggle with grief.

Tina Hedin, 62,  says she is on the 'brink of shattering' ever since the devastating death of her daughter Kierstin, who she called Kiki, at the age of 25.

Her nightmare began on January 8, 2023, when Kiki suffered a severe food allergy reaction which could not be reversed using her EpiPen.

She was rushed to Massachusetts General Hospital where she was placed in an induced coma, but sadly died just days later on January 13.

'I entered the world of grief, and discovered that when the worst thing happens, the cruelest part is, it doesn’t kill you,' Hedin wrote on her blog. 'The pain makes you wish you were dead yet you have to go on.'

Writer Tina Hedin, 62, who lost her only child Kiki (far right) to anaphylactic shock has laid bare the heartbreaking reality of her struggle with grief. Pictured: Mom and daughter with dad Eric

Kiki suffered a severe food allergy reaction which could not be reversed using her EpiPen on January 8, 2023

Hedin laid bare her grief in her blog, Letters from Turkey Town, which she is using to process her loss

The grieving mother has turned to writing to help process her loss and her place in the world now that she no longer has her only child.

She cherishes the last time she was with Kiki, the day after Christmas in 2022 when they pored over an art book  - a passion they shared.

In a separate essay for the New York Times, Hedin describes breaking down over something as trivial as losing a water bottle at the gym because, 'some days I just couldn't take any more loss'.

'I used to be the mother of a 25-year-old,' Hedin wrote. 'I used to have a young person who loved me, belonged to me, connected me to the world of young people.'

After she was first admitted, Kiki's parents were praying she would make a full recovery.

'She is a strong girl and always been a fighter so we are only thinking positive things,' dad Eric wrote.

Since her daughter's death, Hedin has packed up her life in New Hampshire to take to the road in a van with her husband.

The couple were both extremely close with their daughter and have been left bereft by her death, a loss which was compounded by the death of Eric's mother in the same year. 

She was the couple's only child and died just days later after being placed in an induced coma from which she never awoke

Kierstin, or Kiki as she was known, died on January 13, 2023 at the age of 25 following anaphylaxis

Hedin described how the pain of her loss makes her wish she was dead, but that she must keep going

'We don’t cry in public anymore, or not often, 'Hedin said. 'But December is a minefield. I find myself getting annoyed and upset, crying over nothing. It’s not nothing, though. It’s the one thing. The unfixable thing.'

In a post on Facebook marking the anniversary of his daughter's death, Eric's grief was still palpable. 

'A year ago tonight Tina and I rested our heads on Kiki’s chest and heard her last heartbeat. We stayed with her for a bit after that, rubbed lotion on her, brushed her hair, spoke to her and held her for the last time,' he said.

'Since then there have been all the firsts without her: birthdays, Halloween, Christmas, Father’s and Mother’s Day and each has been challenging.

'I don’t want to go forward being thought of as the poor guy whose daughter died but as the guy whose daughter lived a great life and left such an impression on so many.'

The couple now have plans to honor their daughter by getting the same tattoos that she had.

Hedin is also channeling her grief into her 'Letters from Turkey Town' newsletter. 

Eric Hedin says he wants people to think of him as, 'the guy whose daughter lived a great life and left such an impression on so many'

Kiki's story bears echoes of the death of Órla Baxendale, 25,  (pictured) who suffered an allergic reaction to cookies from a Connecticut store so severe that not even  her EpiPen could save her, according to lawyers for her family

'It’s not all sad here,' Hedin wrote. 'My inspiration to write comes not from my daughter’s death, but from the power of her life, her sense of humor and the love that lives on. 

Kiki's death was one of the 1,000 deaths from anaphylaxis that occur among Americans each year. A fatal outcome is a rare, but very real threat to those with allergies.

atest comment